To Boom Or Not To Boom

“..to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.”

….How the hell was I supposed to know that this ‘sea of troubles’ would be my hip and my heart? I never checked the fine print.

Naively and romantically I thought that arms would be wielded for good versus evil; championing the downtrodden; obliterating ignorance; tilting against formidable odds while clad in a loincloth and a hint of mascara. Who knew?

Currently no peer communication is complete without a diagnosis or prognosis, a therapy, rehab strategy, prescription or mystical chant. Now some of this is pretty serious when cancer and stroke populate the conversation. These realities require attention, support, time, assistance, empathy and courage.

The rest of it forms an anecdotal spectrum of boomer existence.

“Well they went in to repair a rotator cuff and then they found out the tendon was almost completely torn..”

“Oh yeah, the lining in my heart just exploded. I felt fine, a little tired but okay. When I heard there was an ambulance coming I asked who was it for, they said ‘For you!”

“You have atrial fibrillation. This is the ‘common cold’ of heart ailments. Would you care for an ablation? Why of course! Do you have Bombay gin?”

“I was just bending down to sit on the toilet when, suddenly, I couldn’t move..”






Having a partner really helps.

It’s amazing what you now need two hands for – even three or four.








And, oh those second opinions:



But back to our favorite Dane (that would be Hamlet or Victor Borge – your choice). What is so ‘outrageous’ about our fortune? Could it be the lack of staff? Where is that valet and why is snow shoveling not one of the corporal works of mercy?

The big reality check is that Jack LaLanne is not immortal. Granted he made it to 96 but wasn’t that supposed to be a brief stop along the way to Elysian Fields? Desire may be our streetcar but there still lurks outrage. And how do you sling it anyway?

Now some of you out there may have just run a half-marathon, gotten a new job or are knee-bouncing grandchildren as we tweet. You are the levees against the sea of troubles. Just like Mr. LaLanne you brazenly wave your manacles and continue to tote that barge. The heck with the bales.

It’s not a level playing field is it? Individually we are counting our blessings and trying to remain positive. Collectively we are hoping that social security isn’t the equivalent of “I’m all in!”. Cashing in the chips may be the hardest part.

If we’re having a great time, why isn’t everybody here? If I’m having a bad time, why won’t it stop? Roseanne Roseannadanna comes to mind – “ You know Mr. Baron, you sure do ask a lot of questions!”