Snails and Weenie Woman

Greetings – you are lying on your back – you can’t seem to remember what day it is – fronds, that’s what they are, yes, fronds – and such blue! Well this is an attempt to recover from the fact that I missed my coaches meeting today. I couldn’t get out of the driveway because of the four inches of snow that fell this morning and the Camry does not have snow tires!!!! Okay, breathe deep – the gathering gloom – no wrong direction again. Another breath, put three dimes in the grandfather clock and cue the organist ….

It is now several weeks ago…..

Rich and Val had left and sister Eileen was on her way from Orlando with her friend Kathy. She arrived safely but Kathy just had time for hi/goodbye and she was off.

Eileen loves Miami Beach – and Paul – and Gregg –



and staying with us. The visit is somewhat ritualistic in that we are guaranteed a lot of laughs, some great dinners and cocktails (courtesy of Eileen), visits to the Hotel Victor:



The key lime pie and crab cakes are especially good. There will also be at least one new adventure. This year it was the Hotel Mondrian on the Bay. Eileen decided she would create her new Facebook picture there:



Paul and I did manage to sneak away for a bike tour of the Matheson Hammock County Park in Coral Gables. “Hammocks are dense stands of hardwood trees that grow on natural rises of only a few inches higher than surrounding marshland that is otherwise too wet to support them” (thank you Wikipedia). In this case we are talking acres and acres of mangroves. It makes for a nice little arborway:



Coral Gables is fascinating. You might remember from the last blog it is also the home of the Venetian public pool along with the Biltmore Hotel.

Mangroves were the bane of the Army Corps of Engineers as they dredged and created Miami Beach at the beginning of the 20th century. Most of what is Biscayne Bay would be similar to what you see on the sides of the bike path in the picture without the hammock.

Coral Gables also decided to adopt some items from Art Basel in Miami when their safety became questionable – another roadside attraction:



Their antennae make for interesting directionals – but they are soooo slow!



We are actually a bit south of Vizcaya and north of Fairchild Gardens. Next year we hope to revisit on our bikes while dropping Kevin off to do some fishing.

….I called to say that I would not be able to make the coaches’ meeting. The athletic director was fine with it. We had returned two days ‘early’ specifically to make this meeting. The AD said that it was obvious that we came back too soon. I think I need more meditation on palm fronds.

How Sweet It Is

Well that just about sums it up – see you next blog entry!


OK – details, details. These are two of the fine $500 mojitos that they serve at the Biltmore Coral Gables Miami Hotel. It took several days of bed-making and leaf-blowing to earn these puppies. (Actually we are quite grateful to Val’s magnanimity)

The Biltmore was built in 1926 and was the epitome of luxury for that era. Trains left major cities in the north with Biltmore – Miami as their listed destination.






Their swimming pool was the largest in the world for several years:


Notice the statuary between the columns on the right, very decadent. Johnny Weismuller was the resident swimming instructor and set a world record for freestyle swimming here. Aquatic shows were their source of survival during the depression featuring “…synchronized swimmers, bathing beauties, alligator wrestlers and the four year-old boy wonder Jackie Ott, whose act included diving into the immense pool from an 85-foot high platform.”

The grounds and spaces are just spectacular. It is currently home to a world-famous Sunday Champagne Brunch ($75 apiece – maybe next year) splendiferously arrayed in a gorgeous courtyard:



Coral Gables is quite the neighborhood. Our friend Paul (of Paul and Gregg fame) had a great house here when he first moved to the Miami area. Chip loved the pool and was a bit upset when Paul said he was selling the place. As you have seen where Paul lives now (“Gini and Paul Take A Walk” – Feb 2009) Chip quickly got over it.

Here is Coral Gables version of a public swimming pool:



It is in the National Register of Historic Places This is the Venetian Pool. Built in 1924, its 800,000 gallons are drained daily in the summer, every other day in the winter, and replenished by underground artesian wells. Formerly known as the Venetian Casino it also was the site for the likes of Esther Williams and Johnny Weismuller to cavort and frolic. Over one hundred thousand swimmers a year bathe in its splendor.

With Rich and Val the current guest stars the flavor changes once again. These two are experts on Miami Beach, its history and architecture. So the Biltmore and Venetian Pool were a must-enjoy when they arrived.

We also returned to the New World Center off Lincoln Road and took a tour of the facility. The interior definitely bespeaks Frank Gehry’s touch:





Chris was the duly appointed elevator operator for the tour. It helped cover expenses.

Rich Beaubien is a photographer extraordinaire. You can view his work on: http://www.intheviewfinder.net, Flickr and Facebook. Much of his day was spent roaming the beach looking for photo ops. Val and Gini juggled the pools, hot tubs, Lincoln Road, wine purchasing and walking. Chris just tried to keep up.

Chris provided some chauffeuring as the ambulating trio had set the Fontainebleu Hotel as their destination. When he arrived to pick up his charges he was met with:


James Bond is in the background on the balcony with Jill Masterson foiling Auric Goldfinger’s dastardly tactics in gin rummy.

The Fontainebleu is a real retro trip. It has recently been redone. We definitely enjoy the ‘bow tie’ floor of the lobby:



Also of some note is the Cheese Wall fronting Collins Avenue:



Richie is running around somewhere up there trying to get the perfect shot. Here he is in flagrante:



Next door is the more modern but equally elegant Eden Roc.



Its lobby is actually a beaucoup cool lounge:







Again, you can click on any of these photos to view them in a larger and more detailed context.

So just as the opening photo sort of summed up this week we have a parting photo for your viewing pleasure that depicts our heroes demonstrating their attitude toward the larger than life ambiance of the Fontainebleu lobby:



And awa-a-a-a-y we go!!

It's So Crowded Nobody Goes There Anymore

When you are hosting several different friends and family members over a period of 6 weeks you need to provide for both the visitor and yourself. There is a concern that a favorite tour, restaurant, walk or café is refreshing but even a prime destination can be frequented to the point of saturation. Also, not everyone has the same taste or preference in how to bask in leisure and free time.

So, thankfully, we were able to procure the above device to guard against these very instances. Our first vict…um participant was Kevin Richard,.our tenant from up north who was visiting us for two weeks and was last seen splayed across a banyan tree.

Using mostly the OSC and BYPASS buttons we were able to experience fishing and Hollywood simultaneously.

Kevin had his destination list for his southern excursion. It included many angling items. We provided him with the Honda Element so that he could fulfill his wish to go to Islamorada, a bastion of American fishing. His plan also included a trip to the IGFA (International Game Fish Association – he’s a member) Fishing Hall of Fame and Museum while he was there; a veritable double header.

Well the fishing happened but much to his surprise he discovered the museum had moved to Dania Beach, close to Fort Lauderdale – oops. So in a great humanitarian gesture we volunteered to drive him there the next day upon his return to Miami Beach. This would allow us to visit the Design Center of the Americas (DCOA). Voila! As the ibis flies they were less than a half mile apart – this was meant to be.

Here we have our guest hero emerging from aquatic bliss and enlightenment:



Meanwhile our hosting heroes were at the DCOA experiencing Film and Design: The Golden Age of Hollywood.

This is an incredible building described as: “…the largest to-the-trade design campus of its kind, showcasing 775,000 sq ft of extraordinary design products that suit the needs for any home, yacht or office project.” It is several floors of elegant showrooms arrayed throughout spacious hallways:



This is one of the atria on one end of the building.



Everything is an expression of art and style.

There was an incredible mobile suspended from the ceiling at the other end:



With the cooperation of many top designers they were able to dedicate showroom space to showcase 18 “breathtaking installations”. Each installation would be part of a “residence” where each room would be inspired by some Hollywood theme.

The ‘foyer’ was dedicated to:




The guest bedroom was dedicated to:



Well if this is business I’d love to see what’s reserved for pleasure.



And who would have thought that Chris would find the bathroom of his dreams? The piece de resistance was its cinematic inspiration:



This is the photo released by someone reviewing the installation but it does not quite do it justice:



That vertical piece of glass is at an angle to the wall but provides a splash-guard to the rain shower. An adjustable, hand-held shower graces the far wall. The ceramic column on the right is one of the two sinks. The drain for the shower is along the floor on the left and is only a few inches wide. Those are two cork stools in front of the glass. At the point where the stools are, the floor slopes very gently towards the drain. Here is a picture we took of the showers:



The black rectangles surrounding the mirror are cabinetry.
(You can click on the photos to make them larger)

What a day this was! We regrouped after our stereo experience and celebrated it at Taco Bell. The only reference at this point to summarize all this would have to be provided by Yogi Berra:




“If you see a fork in the road…take it!”

To Boom Or Not To Boom

“..to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.”

….How the hell was I supposed to know that this ‘sea of troubles’ would be my hip and my heart? I never checked the fine print.

Naively and romantically I thought that arms would be wielded for good versus evil; championing the downtrodden; obliterating ignorance; tilting against formidable odds while clad in a loincloth and a hint of mascara. Who knew?

Currently no peer communication is complete without a diagnosis or prognosis, a therapy, rehab strategy, prescription or mystical chant. Now some of this is pretty serious when cancer and stroke populate the conversation. These realities require attention, support, time, assistance, empathy and courage.

The rest of it forms an anecdotal spectrum of boomer existence.

“Well they went in to repair a rotator cuff and then they found out the tendon was almost completely torn..”

“Oh yeah, the lining in my heart just exploded. I felt fine, a little tired but okay. When I heard there was an ambulance coming I asked who was it for, they said ‘For you!”

“You have atrial fibrillation. This is the ‘common cold’ of heart ailments. Would you care for an ablation? Why of course! Do you have Bombay gin?”

“I was just bending down to sit on the toilet when, suddenly, I couldn’t move..”






Having a partner really helps.

It’s amazing what you now need two hands for – even three or four.








And, oh those second opinions:



But back to our favorite Dane (that would be Hamlet or Victor Borge – your choice). What is so ‘outrageous’ about our fortune? Could it be the lack of staff? Where is that valet and why is snow shoveling not one of the corporal works of mercy?

The big reality check is that Jack LaLanne is not immortal. Granted he made it to 96 but wasn’t that supposed to be a brief stop along the way to Elysian Fields? Desire may be our streetcar but there still lurks outrage. And how do you sling it anyway?

Now some of you out there may have just run a half-marathon, gotten a new job or are knee-bouncing grandchildren as we tweet. You are the levees against the sea of troubles. Just like Mr. LaLanne you brazenly wave your manacles and continue to tote that barge. The heck with the bales.

It’s not a level playing field is it? Individually we are counting our blessings and trying to remain positive. Collectively we are hoping that social security isn’t the equivalent of “I’m all in!”. Cashing in the chips may be the hardest part.

If we’re having a great time, why isn’t everybody here? If I’m having a bad time, why won’t it stop? Roseanne Roseannadanna comes to mind – “ You know Mr. Baron, you sure do ask a lot of questions!”

Kevin Ups The Ante

Maybe it is something we do that we are just not very aware. This is our housemate from NH, Kevin. He had not been in Miami Beach for even 12 hours and this …occurred.

We had just dropped Bob off at the airport earlier in the day. Janice and Gini decided that the condo needed some ‘sprucing up’ so we planned to head to the mainland and tour Target’s, Marshall’s, et al in search of spruce.

These plans were a bit delayed when Kevin called at 11:00 AM to tell us that the sub zero temps in Manchester were still giving his 7:00 plane problems with freezing fluids. Gini went into travel-agent mode and verified that he was ‘protected’ for a 3PM out of Atlanta. So shopping-ho! First a lamp for the bedside ($12) to sit on the new plastic bedside table ($7) and what wonderful fold out chairs for the balcony ($8.95 apiece)!

Kevin’s new (first for him) cellphone allowed us to eventually find him outside Arrivals. The trip home (7 miles) took 90 minutes. As some of you may know, two Miami police were shot and killed last week. Well the funeral cortege was a little behind schedule and backed up traffic most of the day.

Having left -13 degrees to bask in 70 degrees, Kevin could care less about delays and traffic. Upon arrival martinis magically appeared and soon we were wending down West Ave towards Oliver’s Restaurant, a local haunt. After two carafes of Pinot Grigio Kevin anonymously paid for dinner. We took to the streets and soon Kevin was in the embrace of that banyan tree. Through careful instructions of Flamingo Park security we were able to extract him without any permanent marks.

Coffee at the Van Dyke on Lincoln Road ‘calmed’ everyone down and we managed to survive his arrival.

The next day, we walked to the ocean to verify its existence and wandered through the fresh under construction James Ave area that Janice and Bill came very close to putting in an offer. At the Albion Hotel we walked along the side of the bottom of the hotel pool and looked through the portholes in the walls with Kevin pleading for nude bathers.

The big excitement for the evening was to head to Lincoln Road for the opening of Soundscape Park and its Exostage outside the New World Center. The park would open Tuesday night with the concert hall opening the next night for its resident orchestra the New World Symphony.

The building was state of the art with the park intended for people gathering in the park to enjoy the sounds of the live interior performances along with video projected across the 7000 foot screen on the outside wall. It was a Spielberg moment:



This projector provided the video as we enjoyed its first emissions:



Notice along the left what looks to be some columns with a header. These were the left speakers (the whole column) that matched another set on the right. Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess filled the night – cool.

The whole project for the park from design to this evening was about a year. The benefactors wanted the cultural experience of the symphony to be a community experience. Pergola were designed to emulate the puffy clouds of Miami Beach and were seeded to be covered with bougainvillea (soon to come):



So as not to let the elite be the only one to experience live music we were soon koochee-koocheeing to a Cuban salsa band:



We had never heard Guantanamera played with such intensity, speed and rhythm. Yeah baby.

So tonight we will try and be good and stay home and Chris will cook spaghetti carbonara for Kevin, Janice, Paul and Gregg. The guys’ apartment is being painted, among other projects, and would appreciate benefiting from someone else’s kitchen.

So What Did You Do Next?

We got your Vizcaya heah – kinda like Venice ya know!

Brother Bob will attest that Vizcaya is a special place (Feb 2010-So What Do You Think of Miami Beach?) but this time it was the special Moonlit Garden Tour. We met Paul and Gregg at the gardens and proceeded to bask in the ambiance of a cloudless Miami night.

Here are some of our heroes enjoying a moon over Miami:

Paul and Gregg

The Baroness and the Baron

Gini wants you to know that the Baron is having a good time despite his aversion to posing for photos.

Chamber music splendiferously filled the central atrium of the villa as we entered. We then proceeded to wander lazily and wondrously through the property:





Bob is slowly being conditioned to the South Beach experience. Having left zero temps and an appreciable accumulation of snow his first priority was acclimating to a t-shirt and shorts. He is struggling but making progress.

He definitely likes the walking excursions in the morning. Even the Baron has acquiesced to participating in the perambulating parade. Yesterday’s reward was gelato on Ocean Drive.

As this is written Gini and Bob are heading for a nighttime swim in the heated of the two pools here at the Flamingo. Perhaps they will resolve the competitive activity of this afternoon’s pool table skirmishes. They were rather rowdy I am told.

Chris had opted for the movies once again. The list started with True Grit, then the Tourist followed by The Fighter (great Lowell ambiance). Today was the best so far, The King’s Speech. Colin Firth once again, with the estimable help of Geoffrey Rush, transfixed. (Last year’s A Single Man was incredibly powerful but too much to be seen twice - like Sophie’s Choice). This movie was interesting because of the historical situation of Edward VII abdicating the English throne because of his desire to marry Wallace Simpson and the subsequent coronation of his stuttering brother Bertie.

Chris also did a full tour of the Venetian Islands on his bike today while Gini and Bob explored Espanola Way and South Pointe Park. Tomorrow is more walking and laundry.

As for settling in to the apartment there have been some rough spots. Parking was tough. Last year a parking spot was included after much gnashing of teeth but this year they have foregone the gnashing and charged us $160 to park two towers over.

The dining room light did not work. This was not discovered until the second night when Gini had cooked a great dinner and we had retired to the dining table. However the management company was right on it the next day and Chris was able to dust off some Spanish as the staff person repaired the lamp.

With Kevin, our tenant and major sport nut arriving on Monday, we were a bit disappointed to find that basic cable meant we could follow the weather, watch Jeopardy and practice our Spanish a bit more. Gini is going through HGTV withdrawal but is handling it well. Chris is another story. Since the Patriots lost he is inconsolable and needs a good golf tournament to bring him out of it.

So tomorrow night is dinner at the restaurant at Paul and Gregg’s condo building. They have promised bacon wrapped fillets as a treat. Martinis will have to be libated along with mirth and merriment slated for coalescence.